the sun rises again

It's been a while since I've routinely stayed up late enough to watch the sun rise as I crawl into bed. There's something about the wee hours before the dawn that appeals to me. Soft music playing in the background [crack the shutters by snow patrol] and my tired dreary face lit by a lone desk lamp. Eerie nightly noises creep in from the big, bad world beyond the window. The only thing missing to complete this picture is a steaming cup of coffee and a burning cigarette. Sadly I don't have a coffeemaker, or beans for that matter and I don't smoke cigarettes.

I tend to do a lot of pondering at this hour. Sit back, stretch, loosen up by popping my joints and writing. Writing. It helps me clear my mind and unwind from the exhaustion of the day previous. I ought to add reading to this list, but I am a bad reader when I'm bone tired. The kind of tired where I feel sore all over my body; especially in my back. It's as if my spine is protesting my decision to forgo sleep and tries to see how much pain it can inflict before I finally give in. It'll get its wish soon.

I like to take time to reflect over the things that trouble me. The thought process is linear. I tend to focus on the future, what I have on my list of things to do, the present, what troubles me currently and the past, regrets that I have trouble forgetting. It's a deadly trio and it often leaves me with a bitter feeling in my mouth as if I bit into a ginger root. Damn ginger roots that disguises itself like real food, you always get me. Always.

There's also something about this time that allows me to connect to my roots. Praise music is no stranger to my late night sessions. It's a constant companion that keeps me company during these periods. Late nights, pensive mood and God seem to a match made in heaven. [Har har].

On one hand, I'm glad that I am able to have this part of my life back. On the other hand, I tend to oversleep during the day and skip my classes indiscriminately. The last need I need is a repeat of the event now infamously known as Fall Debacle '08. If you're wondering what I mean and why you don't know, it's because it's really only relevant to my life. Sorry, you're not invited.

1 comment:

Ellie said...

Sometimes, time to ponder is just what someone needs. I just came back from the other end of mars. I'm back in the bloggy world! though I'd let you know! :D