you, only you

There's a reason why I don't involve myself with arts and craft, that's why I'm a photography guy. Photography is cleaner and "easier" to maintain. I don't even post process (frankly because I am terrible at it, but I'm learning). However, today I broke out the paint and paper. Lesson learned? It's terribly messy. Nothing has changed. There's a reason why they handed out smocks to you in art class when you were little. The paint has a tendency to get everywhere. I'm sure there are splatters on my shirt, but I wouldn't know unless I looked carefully (wearing a tie-dyed shirt). It was a little project for a close and dear friend. Unfortunately I managed to botch up painting even a simply character. I cannot, for the life of me, seem to convey depth and shadows while painting or even drawing. Oh well, at least the deed was done and the project completed. Not without getting paint all over my fingers though, but oddly enough I like that part. I seem to think it makes me seem more "legit. " Maybe I'll do more painting in the future for fun.

it's the beginning of something new, but it's alright because i'm afraid too

It's the season of Lent. Normally I don't do anything special during these 40 days, but I decided that maybe I should invest my time and energy into bettering myself. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit, so with that logic 40 days should knock it dead right? I just want to instill qualities within myself that I can respect. I'll try to be more consistent with my entries to update all my eager and adoring fans (hah!) concerning my struggle.

The List

1. Pop: For those of you not familiar with this term; soda, soda pop, coke, carbonated beverages, etc. Not a huge fan of this, but I do find myself visiting the vending machines for a late night drink.
   
2. Ordering in: This will probably be a hard habit to kick, especially considering the crowd that I run with. I'll need to stock up on food by other means or walk to the location itself and order. At least I'll burn calories in the process.

That's it for all the habits I want to kick. I decided to add a twist to Lent though. I know the idea is to be sacrificial, but I also wanted to pick up habits. Reverse sacrifice?

The List cont.

1. Read the Bible: This should be a given in my life, but unfortunately I have this terrible tendency to neglect reading the Word. Oops. A goal would be to, at least, make it through all the Gospels.
2. Be encouraging: Life is tough enough as it is. I want to bring people up and just give them props, or encouragements whenever I see something that I feel is deserving. We all need a pick-me-up every now and then. It's important that we get acknowledgment.
3. Take a picture daily: Actually this is probably going to be a tough one, despite the fact that I'm suppose to be the "photographer." However, I have 8 rolls of films and possibly a new speedlight coming to keep my interest soaring.
4. Finish a leisure book: Pretty straightforward. With all the time I waste, I should be able to get a book in. Currently working on "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller.

Well that's it. That's my list. Hopefully it's not more than I can accomplish. I simply ask, no beg, you to keep me accountable; especially on ordering in and taking a picture daily. I'll try my best to update more frequently with my struggles or conquests.

the sun rises again

It's been a while since I've routinely stayed up late enough to watch the sun rise as I crawl into bed. There's something about the wee hours before the dawn that appeals to me. Soft music playing in the background [crack the shutters by snow patrol] and my tired dreary face lit by a lone desk lamp. Eerie nightly noises creep in from the big, bad world beyond the window. The only thing missing to complete this picture is a steaming cup of coffee and a burning cigarette. Sadly I don't have a coffeemaker, or beans for that matter and I don't smoke cigarettes.

I tend to do a lot of pondering at this hour. Sit back, stretch, loosen up by popping my joints and writing. Writing. It helps me clear my mind and unwind from the exhaustion of the day previous. I ought to add reading to this list, but I am a bad reader when I'm bone tired. The kind of tired where I feel sore all over my body; especially in my back. It's as if my spine is protesting my decision to forgo sleep and tries to see how much pain it can inflict before I finally give in. It'll get its wish soon.

I like to take time to reflect over the things that trouble me. The thought process is linear. I tend to focus on the future, what I have on my list of things to do, the present, what troubles me currently and the past, regrets that I have trouble forgetting. It's a deadly trio and it often leaves me with a bitter feeling in my mouth as if I bit into a ginger root. Damn ginger roots that disguises itself like real food, you always get me. Always.

There's also something about this time that allows me to connect to my roots. Praise music is no stranger to my late night sessions. It's a constant companion that keeps me company during these periods. Late nights, pensive mood and God seem to a match made in heaven. [Har har].

On one hand, I'm glad that I am able to have this part of my life back. On the other hand, I tend to oversleep during the day and skip my classes indiscriminately. The last need I need is a repeat of the event now infamously known as Fall Debacle '08. If you're wondering what I mean and why you don't know, it's because it's really only relevant to my life. Sorry, you're not invited.

coffeehouse spirituality

Sharing thoughts on faith and spirituality over a cup of joe is probably one of my favorite things to do now. The other night, a friend and I connected over a cup of coffee. It was one of those rare conversations, where I was able to lay my cards on the table and talk about anything. I think we both saw ourselves as two guys in the same or similar situation. After talking to him, I realized that there are a few things in my life that I need to work on or change. For example, I was really encouraged by how vocal he was about his faith. I think that was the point that I took away the most from that night. Maybe it's just me, but I often am reluctant to let others that I'm unfamiliar with know that I'm Christian. It has something to do with my fear of being labeled as a close-minded, intolerant, Bible-thumper. It's not an image that I want branded on me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed of being Christian. I just don't think I fit that label because I'm nothing like that in person. In fact, I'm probably more liberal than most Christians ought to be.
I'll just chew on it for a while.

I need to buy a traveler's mug for coffee, but I don't know where I should buy it from. Should I buy one from Starbucks? Biggby? Caribou? I don't know where I want to place my allegiance. I do need one rather soon though. I feel guilty of purchasing coffee in a disposable cup because that goes against my sustainability ethos. Plus the coffee in the office is terrible. I didn't think it was possible to make coffee taste that bad. Even instant coffee taste better than that liquid crap.
Sad.