30.9.08

i'm not a bad guy, i swear

Disclaimer: Before you begin, I want you to know that I'm going to offend a lot of people and create a bad impression. My words are in jest and I don't really mean it to the exact degree that I'm describing. I'm just exaggerating for comical effect. Plus, I was coming off of no sleep when I made these observations. Tread carefully... over my face after you're done.

The other day in my language and culture class, the professor separated us into groups for reading discussions. The prior night, I stayed awake, burning coal throughout the night, to finish the midterm paper for this class. I was completely deranged by that point in the day. Since I spent the whole night writing the paper, I didn't get a chance to do the reading for the class. Instead of participating in the discussion, I just sat off to the side and observed the members in the group.

In my exhausted and sleep-deprived state, I came to a stunning revelation. Why are all the women in my class unattractive? There is not a single girl that I would consider good looking in any way.

Anthropology is one of those fields where you can either find women who have the girl-next-door complex with sexy librarian appeal or think you've stumbled upon the greatest anthropological discovery of the 21st century: Bigfoot wearing women's clothing... after a horrific disfiguring traffic accident involving 56 consecutive blows to face with an ugly stick. [This is the part where I am completely exaggerating. Press Ctrl+W to submit angry replies]

To better illustrate this point, the "girl" that was sitting directly in front of me was the prime example of the graphic description. I say "girl" because a) she totally looked a man with the masculine haircut and facial structure and b) she had more leg hair than I did. Granted, my leg hair is possibly the worst example of a hairy leg possible, but trust me this girl had me considering writing my Nobel Prize acceptance letter for Best Discovery.

OK OK. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the deprivation played tricks with my mind and their "beauty" was lost on me. I'll take another cursory glance during the next session. I'm not holding out for much hope though.

6 comments:

Ellie said...

ha ha.. very funny actually. thought it was interesting. take another look when you aren't exhausted to tears! :D

tina said...

haha its okay. my school is known for ugly girls.

'mit girls are like quarters in a toilet. everybody sees them but nobody wants to take them out'

L O O said...

dave at least you're not an engineer. at least there ARE anthropology girls.

Austin said...

Actually, a friend of mine in my AP Physics class plans to major in engineering, and she is quite attractive. Anyway, Dave, I think I'm rubbing off on you. I didn't think there was any asshole in you.

Brett said...

Better to work with ugly girls, trust me, my place is fill with stunner's and it is such a distraction.

Venza 3.5 said...

id rather have an anthro girl than a kentucky hick toothless walmart shoppin kfc lovin girl. just my two cents.